A man walks into a bar.

He says, "Ouch!"

I poured root beer into a square glass.

Now I just have beer.

"Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"

"Yes we arson."

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

The letter E.

How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory.

I've got a Rush song stuck in my head. This time, I don't get to choose Freewill.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

An envelope.

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

What do you call the Christmas film industry?

Jollywood.

What do you call a poorly planned and poorly executed website?

MasonMacKinnon.Com.

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into a meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his orders.

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.